Sunday, June 12, 2011

Positive Wife, Schmositive Wife...

Scripture of the day: "A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown." -Proverbs 12:4, TLB

Think back to when you first got married. You had good intentions of being a caring, gentle, submissive, always loving, devoted, positive wife. Fast forward to now. Have you been all of those things? I will be the first to answer...absolutely not. I am ashamed to say, I have caused most of the arguments and disagreements in my marriage.

I have been stubborn, self centered, unwilling to change, argumentative, anything but gentle, critical, angry, and sometimes down right mean. I hate it, but it's true. I have read all of the books and taken classes at church. I have prayed and pleaded with God. I have apologized and tried hard to make a change. Sometimes I blame my hormones...ladies this is NOT an excuse.

So, I ask myself: "Why can't I just be a positive, God-fearing, gentle wife?" Here is my answer. Keep in mind this is my opinion: Because I don't want to. Plain and simple. I am a control freak (yeah I know, big surprise so I feel as if I become what God has called me to be (submissive) then I lose the control I have over my life. This is a LIE that Satan has led me to believe. I feel as though when I am submissive to my husband I give up all rights to having a mind of my own.

I want to help my husband and be a good role model for my son's so that they choose a wife someday just like their mommy and they are proud of that. I want them to be able to say that I was a good wife for their daddy. The bible says: "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." -Proverbs 31:10

Ladies, it is time we become the gems that God has called us to be. Forget all of the feminism stuff you grew up learning and taking part in. Instead of a feminist state of mind (I am woman hear me roar), have a feminine state of mind (I want to please God and love and serve my husband). It's OK to be feminine and feel beautiful. God made you and He doesn't make any mistakes.

Be the wife God has called you to be. Pray, pray, pray for protection for your marriage. In the USA, the sanctity of marriage is being attacked. No marriage is safe. Divorce rates are the same for Christians and non-Christians alike. That is scary! Pray that God will unite you and your husband to His love.

Be a positive wife. Love your husband and respect his decisions. I do not agree with everything Hubby says, but he is the leader of our household and has been appointed by God. In order to be a great wife I think the first step is to be Christ-centered, not husband-centered. God will supply all of your needs. Your husband cannot do it all, nor should we expect them to.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:28b "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life..." See, he wasn't even married and knew there would be trouble. Marriage is hard work. There will be times of trouble and heartache and disagreements. But there will be even more times of joy and blessings and love if we put Christ at the center of our marriages and trust Him to lead us.

I know it is hard to be positive and happy all the time, but maybe if we gave it a little more effort and a lot more prayer we may see a difference. Not only in our marriages but in our hearts also. Pray about your attitude toward your husband and toward your children that it may reflect that of the Lord.

God Bless,


P.S. By the way, this was totally for me. I needed this more than any of me!

P.P.S HERE is the link for Praying for your husband day 11. Enjoy!


Nicole Searfoss-Owner, Indulgent Aromas said...

Kristy~ Awesome post! I have also been all of those things in my marriage. I am also a huge control freak, and a typical first born. I honestly thought I was better at decision making than my hubby. I was given the book "Created to be his Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl.......LIFECHANGING!!!!! I knew I was supposed to be all those things for my hubby, but felt that "it wasn't me and I shouldn't have to change".

The Lord convicted me of this and things have been so different. My hubby is an amazing leader and I can finally see it now that I have taken a step back. I have finally learned to do things for him (even if he's cranky), go out of my way to support him (even if I don't like it), serve him (even if I'm tired...not just sex, either)...etc. It's hard at first, but after a while things are so much better that it gets easier. It totally changes the dynamic of your home. Imagine that, following God's word makes your life better???!!!

(found you at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home)

Kristy said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I really appreciate it. I have heard of that book but have yet to buy it. I will look for it next time I am at the book store. Please become a follower of my blog. I would love to have you here.

One Busy Mama said...

Oh WOW! Hi Kristy, my name is Jennifer and we may just end up being the best of friends. Now let me tell you why! ;) I love the way our Lord brings us to those who seem to share the same heart in matters! So I saw your link on A Wise Woman Builds Home and I just HAD to click like and come on over to your blog to tell you how much I loved the picture of your baby boy! You see, the baby of all of my babies has the most amazing red hair (usually makes other redheads look blonde) and I saw your son and had to smile because him and my baby Cass could pass for brothers! Then I get to your page and you're gonna laugh when you see my blog....I too have a quilted background! And most important of all....I do believe you wrote this post for me. I love my husband. I love Jesus. And in trying to serve both the way God intends, I'm so very quick to fall short. I've been praying for my husband today and now I see a link here about day #11....I'm going to have to go look into that as soon as I'm done posting this comment. In the meantime....I UNDERSTAND. I've come to the realization that I can't expect my husband to take on his complete, God intended leadersehip role in our home until I (Yes, ME) quit trying to act like it's ME that's in charge! Anyhoo....ever had a comment this long? ;) Nice to meet you, thank you for your post, your family is beautiful, and may our good Lord bless your obedience!

Kristy said...

Hey Jennifer,
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I really appreciate it. You sound just like me. I know that we can be friends since you have a red! I hope to get to know you more.
God Bless,