Friday, March 30, 2012

{A Sad Day For Our Family}

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things." -Ecclesiastes 11:5

This past Tuesday will be remembered as one of the worst days of my life so far. I had been having some complications with my third pregnancy and decided it was time to go to the doctor's office to see what was going on. The doctor took a machine that listens to the heartbeat and tried for what seemed like eternity to find it. He poked my stomach, he squeezed here and there. He could not find one. We then went into the ultrasound room and they performed a regular ultrasound. The technician saw no heartbeat. She told me to prepare myself for an internal ultrasound and she left the room. I just knew...I just knew. When she came back in with the doctor...there was no doubt. She started the second ultrasound and the doctor said something...I'm not really sure what. I just remember him saying I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat. I will tell you that in that moment, my heart felt like it was in a million little pieces. I know the people in the waiting room could hear my crying. I cried for a long while and the doctor just let me. My husband held me tight. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

My baby was gone to be with Jesus. I was 12 weeks pregnant. Just one more week and I would have been in my second trimester. I have asked God why a thousand times since then. All I know is God is sovereign. He is seated on the throne in heaven and He knows what He is doing. Our baby was not born into our arms, but I know our baby was born into the arms of Jesus.Even though the baby isn't here with us I still wanted it to have a name. The name we chose is Kendall. I just really like that name and of course it starts with a K just like me. I just wanted to share the news with my readers. Please pray for us as we grieve the loss of our precious little one we loved so much. Here is a poem and a song that is helping me to heal from this loss.

Precious Little One
I`m just a precious little one
who didn`t make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus,
but I`m waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here where I live,
waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorrow,
a world marred with pain and sin.
Thank you for the life you gave me,
it was brief but don`t complain.
I have all Heaven`s Glory,
suffered none of earth`s great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me.
I`d have loved to bring it fame.
But if I`d lingered in earth`s shadows,
I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family-don`t you sorrow.
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus` arms
from my loving Mother`s womb.
~Author Unknown

Watermark- Glory Baby

Please hold tight to your precious ones that are with you. I know I have been holding on to my boys these past few days a lot tighter. I am so grateful that I have them. I am also very thankful to God for allowing me to be a mother one more time...even though the baby isn't here with me physically. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...blessed be the Lord. I have been praying for all the families that have lost a baby. Please keep us in your prayers.



Thursday, March 22, 2012

{I know it's been a while...}

Hello Readers,

I am so sorry it's been a while since I have blogged. I have been very busy with this pregnancy. I have been trying to rest due to a few complications. Please pray for us. I will keep everyone updated. We do have an ultrasound next week so we get to see our little peanut. I will start blogging regularly again next week. In the meantime, check out my other blog Diary of a Book Hoarder. There are book reviews, DVD reviews, and giveaways. Don't miss out on winning a movie or book. All movies and books are family friendly.

God Bless,


Monday, March 12, 2012

{Happy Homemaker Monday- 2012 #11}

Please visit Diary of a SAHM for more Happy Homemaker Monday posts.

Sorry I didn't post last week. I have been very ill. My week started off with the worst sore throat I have ever had in my life. I literally could not swallow. My ears were hurting and I was just feeling horrible. Hubby took off on Tuesday to take me to the doctor's office where they told me I had an upper respiratory infection and put me on antibiotics. I immediately started on those and felt a little better each day. On Thursday I woke up and had some pregnancy related complications and had to go to the doctor yet again for an emergency ultrasound. Everything turned out to be OK but I have still been having some complications. Not sure what is going on. Please pray for us. I decided today that I a feeling a little bit better. Well, better enough to blog a little. So, here goes...

The Weather:::
Spring has sprung around here...for this week at least. It will be in the 70's all week and almost hitting 80 this weekend. It's gonna be a good one! I am so thankful for this beautiful weather.

On My Reading Pile:::
Honestly, I got nothing. I have not had much time to read (although being on bed rest you would think I would, but I really haven't). I am not a bed rest kinda person. I get antsy and extremely tired. LOL!

On My TV:::
HGTV is on right now and in just a little while I will put on Food Network. Since I have nothing better to do...I love to watch people cook!

On The Menu For This Week:::
Hubby went to the grocery store yesterday and bought lots of quick meals. I do not have a set menu but I do foresee spaghetti and chicken nuggets in the future.

On My To Do List:::
Well, I have a lot that I need to do. But, I am not allowed so I will be doing nothing. My MIL is coming over later to fold about 5 loads of laundry for me (God Bless her soul). That will be a huge help.

What I Am Sewing/Creating:::
Have not done any sewing lately either. I miss it! I want to work on my quilt top that I got for Christmas. I think I will start that as soon as I am back on my feet.

In Homeschooling:::
I got a free 30 day trial of Time4Learning for Bear so we will be doing that a little later. He seems to like it a lot.

Looking Around The House:::
Right now my house is a little crazy. Hubby has been doing a lot though. The kids seem to destroy it in mere seconds. LOL! I do have clean dishes though thanks to Hubby. The laundry is pretty crazy, but that too will be taken care of later :)

From The Camera:::

Not the greatest picture of baby peanut, but you get the point.

Something Fun To Share:::
It's going to be so nice this week that the kids can go outside and play a lot. They will love it!

On My Prayer List:::
My precious baby being healthy and safe. For me to get better (this cold has kicked my hiney!).

Bible Verse/Devotional:::
"The LORD sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness." -Psalm 41:3

I hope you all have a great week! Enjoy the weather (if you have good weather).

God Bless,


Thursday, March 1, 2012

{But I had other plans...}

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (NIV)

This Bible verse has been on my heart heavily this week. It really makes sense, but it makes it hard to accept at times. I may have a plan for something, but God directs me in which way I will go by opening or closing doors. Hubby and I had some "not-so-good" news this week that we really didn't like. But, we trust that God has bigger and better things in store for us. We have to be patient and wait on the Lord. He will reward our diligence and hard work. He may not reward it here on earth, but it will not go unnoticed when we meet Him in heaven. We, as humans, want immediate results for our work and patience. It is just who we are. We can't help it. I know I have times when I want something and I want it now. I can't be like that though.

God is constantly working on my heart. He is preparing me for His kingdom and glory. This past week was a test. I am not sure I passed it. Trials and tribulations either make us bitter or better (my Pastor said that a few weeks ago at church). He also said that we must praise God in obedience. God wants us to be obedient. So, even in our hardest times in life we have to praise Him. No, I don't always feel like doing that. Matter of fact, I find that I don't do that. I am going to start right away. My Pastor also said that most of the time when we praise God (out of obedience, rather than genuinely) we end up being genuine. Our hearts break for God and the love He has for us. I know mine does.

I also want to be an example to my children. If I break down every time something bad happens or things don't go my way, they will mimic that behavior ten fold. They are little sponges and whatever we say/do, they soak up into their hearts and minds and keep it forever. Am I putting good things into their hearts, am I filling their minds with foolishness? Or, am I filling them with love, knowledge, respect, and kindness? I hope they see love in me. I love my children so much. I hope that one day they will accept the Lord into their hearts. My Hubby and I pray so much about this. It is the thing I pray for the most. I want them to be saved and to know God and feel His love the way I do.

My plans may have been messed up this past week. My heart may be breaking for the situation. But, PRAISE GOD that we still have so many other blessings in our lives. Hubby and I have two healthy boys and another little blessing on the way. Hubby has a job in this tough economy. I get the joy and pleasure to be able to stay home with my children and homeschool them. We have a wonderful house that is full of love and family that is very supportive. I think God's plan for us will be much better than we could ever imagine. Better than we can even fathom. His ways are higher than our ways. He wants us to succeed, be happy, and love Him most of all.

Thank you God for all You have blessed me with: my faithful husband, my wonderful children, a God fearing church, loving family, great friends, and much more.

God Bless,