Friday, March 30, 2012

{A Sad Day For Our Family}

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things." -Ecclesiastes 11:5

This past Tuesday will be remembered as one of the worst days of my life so far. I had been having some complications with my third pregnancy and decided it was time to go to the doctor's office to see what was going on. The doctor took a machine that listens to the heartbeat and tried for what seemed like eternity to find it. He poked my stomach, he squeezed here and there. He could not find one. We then went into the ultrasound room and they performed a regular ultrasound. The technician saw no heartbeat. She told me to prepare myself for an internal ultrasound and she left the room. I just knew...I just knew. When she came back in with the doctor...there was no doubt. She started the second ultrasound and the doctor said something...I'm not really sure what. I just remember him saying I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat. I will tell you that in that moment, my heart felt like it was in a million little pieces. I know the people in the waiting room could hear my crying. I cried for a long while and the doctor just let me. My husband held me tight. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

My baby was gone to be with Jesus. I was 12 weeks pregnant. Just one more week and I would have been in my second trimester. I have asked God why a thousand times since then. All I know is God is sovereign. He is seated on the throne in heaven and He knows what He is doing. Our baby was not born into our arms, but I know our baby was born into the arms of Jesus.Even though the baby isn't here with us I still wanted it to have a name. The name we chose is Kendall. I just really like that name and of course it starts with a K just like me. I just wanted to share the news with my readers. Please pray for us as we grieve the loss of our precious little one we loved so much. Here is a poem and a song that is helping me to heal from this loss.

Precious Little One
I`m just a precious little one
who didn`t make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus,
but I`m waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here where I live,
waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorrow,
a world marred with pain and sin.
Thank you for the life you gave me,
it was brief but don`t complain.
I have all Heaven`s Glory,
suffered none of earth`s great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me.
I`d have loved to bring it fame.
But if I`d lingered in earth`s shadows,
I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family-don`t you sorrow.
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus` arms
from my loving Mother`s womb.
~Author Unknown

Watermark- Glory Baby

Please hold tight to your precious ones that are with you. I know I have been holding on to my boys these past few days a lot tighter. I am so grateful that I have them. I am also very thankful to God for allowing me to be a mother one more time...even though the baby isn't here with me physically. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...blessed be the Lord. I have been praying for all the families that have lost a baby. Please keep us in your prayers.




momma24 said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost six of our precious babies and the pain is still buried in my heart. Praying for peace and comfort as you heal in the days to come.

amy @ Life in Pink Hi-Tops said...

I am so sorry Kristy. My prayers for you and your family. {HUGS}

Heather said...

We miss your baby, too.

We are glad you are okay, though.

We think your boys are wonderful blessings and send them hugs.

Your baby and our babies are waiting for us...what a glorious day it will be to finally meet each other!!

Continuing to pray for you...