Friday, May 10, 2013

The "G" Word!

I have been wanting to write this blog post for some time now. I have only delayed because I had a baby a couple of months ago and am just now getting back into writing. The "G" word I am talking about here is GUILT. You know...the one that makes you feel bad about every decision you make. As a woman, I am constantly feeling guilty about something in my life. I feel guilty that I didn't get the house clean today while Hubby was at work, I feel guilty if I go out by myself and leave the kids with a sitter, I feel guilty if I tell someone how I really feel, guilty, guilty, guilty. The list could go on for days so I will stop right there. You can name your own things to feel guilty about.

I have had so many situations in my life that are regrettable. Thankfully, I have a Savior who died to rid me of my regrets and guilt. There are words I wish I wouldn't have said. Things I wish I wouldn't have seen. There are people I wish were still in my life. I feel guilty for not calling my Grandmother. She is up there in age and I always say I am too busy. Too busy for the people who love me. I am not busy in the sense of running around. But, I am busy homeschooling, homemaking, taking care of an infant and his two older brothers and so on. Why do I let these things get in the way of making a simple phone call? One of the biggest things I feel guilty about in my life is saying things that are regrettable.

I recently read a blog post from Visionary Womanhood called "The Power of My Words". HERE is the link. I even posted it to my Facebook page because it was so powerful.

“Remind them to…speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” Titus 3:1-2 

Can you say...WOW! I have read the Bible many times but this never popped out at me. Avoid quarreling? Show PERFECT courtesy toward ALL people? I will just come out and say it: That is not my personality at all. I mean I am not rude. But, I have had a quarrel or two in my day. When driving...I would say I have slight road rage (although some people would beg to differ). Am I showing perfect courtesy to the little old man that I am behind? He is going so slow and I am running late. Does the beeping of my horn say "Excuse me sir. I'm a Christian and I love the Lord."? Or, does it say "Move it person! I don't care who you are or what YOUR needs are...mine are more important!"

I was curious so I looked up the definition to some of these words used in Titus.

Perfect- being entirely without fault, flawless, mature, pure
Courtesy- behavior marked by polished manners and respect toward others, consideration and cooperation of others
Quarrel- dispute or complaint, verbal conflict between antagonists

OK, so I am very convicted. I have not been courteous toward many people in my life (and those I pass along the road). I have, in fact, been quarrelsome. Can I say, GUILTY!? I have said many things to many people over the years that were horrible. It started with my parents, then my siblings, then friends, etc. Now, my Hubby. It makes me sad to think of what I have said to him that would tear him down as a man. He is wonderful, loving, kind, gentle, and the best thing that has ever happened to me.

At first, I thought "it's all hormones". Yes...that's it. Hormones. Well, what about those times of the month that I can't blame "hormones"? I guess, it's just me then. Thank God I have the Bible as my guide to life. Without it I would be a HOT MESS. I am so grateful that I have been saved by the grace of God. I am so thankful to have a great Hubby who reigns me back in when I start to feel guilty about everything in life and forgives me before I even have to ask for it. I am so blessed to have children who forgive me when I'm having a bad "mommy day" and still like to be around me all the time.

How many people have I torn down because of the words I spoke? I can think of a few. I can't say how truly sorry I am that I every used words to hurt someone. Especially someone I love. I have days when all I feel like I do is yell. Yell at my kids, yell at my husband, yell at the man who just rang the doorbell just as I put the kids down for a nap. I sounds bad. But, I think we can all relate. There are days that just seem to never end.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Ephesians 4:29

That is how I want to live my corrupting talk. Once you say (or yell)'s out there. If you gossip or talk bad about someone. You can't take it back. You can say you are sorry a million times but you can't take it back. I know people who try to make you feel guilty by the things they say. Nothing is ever their fault. Nothing ever goes their way. Life just isn't fair. How dare others have a great husband, wonderful children who love the Lord, parents who care. I have felt horrible after talking to these kinds of people. I think to myself "why am I so deserving of these things and yet they have none of them?" I have to doesn't last long. I have a VERY blessed life. But, so do these other people. I'm not talking of a specific person. I am talking about everyone. We are all very blessed. Yes, we go through hard times. Yes, we will have struggles on this earth. Yes, there will be times when we question God. We have to focus on eternity and what matters there.

What I am saying is that none of this junk is going to matter when we get to heaven. The ONLY thing that will matter is if you have given your life to the Lord. Have you accepted Jesus into your heart and lived a life for Him? I am so thankful that God chose me to be His daughter. I am blessed beyond measure, beyond words. So, if you are like me and feel guilty all the time about something in your life, just remember that God doesn't want you to feel that way. He wants you to think on the things that are good:

Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9Those things, which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:8

If you have said something to someone or done something to hurt someone and feel guilty about it, apologize to them. Seek forgiveness. Don't be too prideful to do this. If the person doesn't find it in their heart to forgive you, that is their problem. As my Hubby has said to me MANY times "Be the bigger person". If it's a fight and you are both wrong, then that saying applies to you. I have told my Hubby before that I am so big I can't fit in the house anymore. LOL! I laugh now, but that is how I have felt in the past. Remember the song by Chris August "7x70". 

I have had to remind myself of this many times. Don't live your life feeling guilty anymore. I am still a work in progress but with help from God, my Hubby, and friends and family I know I will make a full recovery. LOL! Now, I am going to have to say it: "Hi, my name is Kristy and I feel guilty about everything."

I hope this helps even one person. I am praying for each of you and hope this can start some healing in your life too. 



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