Friday, April 18, 2014

Dating My Sons {Teaching Them To Be Gentlemen}

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."
Deuteronomy 6:7

I recently started a new tradition with my boys. Bear is 5, Ducky is 3, and Monkey is 1. Our new tradition is taking them on dates. I absolutely love it. They each get their own date night and get to choose where to go to eat dinner and what to do afterward. I have only done this for the older boys as they know what I am doing and can tell me what they want to do. Usually, they choose to eat at Chick-fil-a or McDonald's. I do give them $5 to spend at the Dollar Tree and they will bring home a toy or piece of candy for themselves and their siblings. It is so sweet. Some of the things we have done include going to the pet shop and looking at the animals, go to an ice cream shop for dessert, go to the park, or go to the candy shop. We have a lot of fun and I teach them how to be gentlemen when taking a lady out (even their mama). 

Here are some photos from dates we have been on: 

This one is Hubby and I on a date. Lead by example ;-)

Ducky and I at a department store. He's so silly.

Bear and I going on our very first date together. 

He chose Chick-fil-a! What a surprise!

At the pet store with Bear. He insisted
on pushing the child-sized cart. 

Here I am with my silly boy again. 

Bear and I taking selfies. LOL!

The reason I made the decision to start this new tradition with my boys is because many women nowadays don't know what a real date is. They have not been treated well on a date and they have had bad experiences. I want to teach my boys how to treat a lady (no matter if it's a future wife, his mama, or his nanny). I want to spend time with them and show them how to act when they are with a girl. I feel like God has given me these blessings and I am responsible for raising them to love and serve Him. I am also responsible to show them how to act and how to treat others. 

I will say that Hubby and I will encourage our boys not to date around. We will encourage them to wait on "dating" until they are ready to find a bride and get married. Every time a person dates around (meaning more than one person) you give a piece of your heart away. You experience heartache and pain. You go through emotions that are not necessary. I know that not everyone feels that this is the right thing, but it is the right thing for our family. We are raising Godly men who will respect a women and uphold her reputation. 

I have a neighbor who has 4 girls. That's right 4 of them. She is so blessed by those girls. Just as I am blessed by my boys. Her husband takes her daughters on dates. They go have tea and out to eat. They go to the movies together and enjoy each others company. Recently, her oldest daughter who is 10 (we will call her "Miss A") came over with her sisters to jump on the trampoline with the boys. They are always over here or my boys are over there playing. They get dirty and run and jump and love being friends. We both homeschool so it works out great. Well, "Miss A" was talking about her daddy taking her on a date. She was so excited. Then, she told me that another little girl in our neighborhood (that my boys are not allowed to play with because of her "mean girl" mentality) told her that going on dates with your daddy was stupid. She told "Miss A" that she was a loser and that it was a really dumb thing to do. 

Sweet "Miss A" didn't get offended or mad. You know what she felt? She felt sorry for that little girl. She told me that she was sorry for her because if her daddy took her on dates she wouldn't feel that way. "Miss A" told me that she wasn't mad at her for saying those things because maybe she said them because it's what she really wanted from her daddy. Isn't that the sweetest thing ever? That shows great maturity and love and forgiveness. I wish we could all be more like that. 

So, the moral of my little blog post is I take my boys on dates because I am called to teach them right from wrong. Taking them on dates helps me to get one on one time with them so I can know them on a deeper level. It is very difficult sometimes to have a real conversation when there are dishes, laundry, and a baby to tend to. Taking them out of that environment and doing something special makes them feel special. They open up more and I can open up more to them. I can show them how much I love them and give them my undivided attention. It also helps me to talk to them about God in a way they can understand. I can ask questions without interruption and answer them gently. 

Thank you for stopping by today. I will be busy with Easter festivities this weekend and pray that your day is filled with the peace of God and forgiveness that He will freely give. 



1 comment:

Miranda Cross said...

What a wonderful iddiary have 3 boys, too. Mine are almost 4, 2.5, and 3 weeks old. I want to do this with them when they're a little bigger. I found you through diary of a sahm and I'll definitely be a continued reader. :)